SO QUICK TO WALK AWAY

I MUST HAVE FUCK MY FEELINGS WRITTEN ON MY FACE....EVERYTIME MY LIFE SEEMS TO BE GOING GOOD I GET FUCKED UP..AND IN MY LAST BLOG I TOOK FULL RESPONSIBLITIY ...I ALWAYS SEEM TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR SHIT WHEN I AM IN THE RELATIONSHIP....JUST BECAUSE I HATE HOSTILITY BUT NOW I AM SOOO DONE WITH IT......LIKE I AM NOT WRONG FOR LOVING YOU....AND YES I LOVE HARD HOW ELSE ARE U SUPPOSE TO LOVE? HALF WAY? A FOURTH OF THE WAY? UHHHH NO WHEN YOU TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM YOUR ARE SUPPOSE TO REALLY LOVE THEM...DO ANYTHING JUST TO SEE THEM SMILE..BE THE ONE WHO WANTS TO MAKE THEIR WORLD BETTER...BUT I GUESS MY DEFINITION OF LOVE IS WRONG...WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME THEY LOVE THEY HURT ME...THEY MAKE ME CRY....THEY LEAVE ME....THEY JUST BASICALLY SEEM NOT TO GIVE TWO FUCKS ABOUT MY FEELINGS.....SOOOO MAYBE IT IS LIKE OPPOSITE DAY BUT THE DAY JUST SEEMS TO LAST FOR A LIFETIME WITH ME...THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME WHETHER IT WAS WITH A RELATIONSHIP OR A FOSTER HOME OR WITH A BIOLOGICAL FAMILY THEY NEVA REALLY LOVE ME...THEY TELL ME THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD I GUESS.....BUT I AM SOOO TIRED....LIKE I KNOW I HAVE ISSUES EVERYONE DOES....MY ATTITUDE SUCKS IT DOES MAYBE IF PEOPLE WOULD JUST TREAT ME AS IF I AM A PERSON AND NOT AN OBJECT WE WOULD BE COOL...OR MAYBE IF PEOPLE WOULD JUST KEEP IT REAL WITH ME I WOULD BE NICE.....I KNO I HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES TO WHERE I CATCH FELINGS FAST...TRY BEING RIPPED AWAY FROM YOUR FAMILY, AND THEN BEING RIPPED AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO U THINK ARE YOUR FAMILY OR HOW ABOUT KNOWING THAT EVERY PERSON THAT ENTERS IS GONNA LEAVE AND U JUST WANNA BE LOVED.....LIKE I HAVE NEVER HAD A STABLE HOME NEVER OR HAD JUST ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE WHO WANTS TO BE THERE ALWAYS THRU WATEVA......BUT LIKE I AM NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND BE SAD AND COMPLAIN OR SAY ANYTHING ELSE BUT I AM A GOOD WOMAN....I AM A GOOD PERSON....AND I AM A GOOD FRIEND...I ONLY ASK THAT FROM EVERYONE TO TREAT ME THE SAME AS I TREAT YOU.....THATS ALL I WANT OUT OF ANY RELATIONSHIP....I JUST WANNA SMILE....I CANT THOUGH BECAUSE PEOPLE DONT REALIZE THAT JUST AS SCARED AS YOU ARE I AM TOO....JUST AS BAD AS YOU HAVE INNER PERSONAL ISSUES I HAVE THEM TOO...AND THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO IS WORK TOGETHER OR SAY FUCK IT BUT IF YOU ONLY GONNA GIVE UP THEN WHY COME IN....BUT I WILL SAY THIS BEFORE I END THIS....I AM NOT A FUCKING TOY....AND MY FEELINGS ARENT EITHER....SOOOO PLEASE WHEN ENTERING MY LIFE KNOW THAT AND PLEASE TREAT ME AS IF I AM HUMAN...I DO MAKE MISTAKES AND I WILL DO THINGS THAT ARE NOT TO YOUR LIKIN BUT THAT IS WAT MAKES ME ME AND YOU YOU.....YOU DONT HAVE TO RUN FROM ME OR BE SCARED.....I WOULD NEVER WANT ANYONE TO FEEL THE WAY I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW...THIS FEELING OF STRAIGHT UGHHH IS OVER ME AND I KNOW THAT.....THIS IS CRAZI....SOOO PLEASE CUT THE ROPE IF YOU AINT GONNA BE HANGING OUT THERE NEXT ME......MODEL

BUT TOOO THAT ONE PERSON....I STILL LOVE YOU....AND I WILL LOVE YOU...I SIT HERE AND I CRY BECAUSE I DO LOVE YOU AND NOT BECAUSE I AM UPSET THAT WE ARENT TOGETHER (WELL I AM) BUT BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND AS A FRIEND (NOT YA GIRL) I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY SOO IF THAT MEANS NO MORE US THEN SOO BE IT.....BUT JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU....JUST KNOW THAT I AM STILL HERE AND I STILL WANT TO MAKE THIS WORK AND I WILL DO WHATEVER I CAN DO TO MAKE THIS WORK BUT IF YOU DO NOT FEEL THAT WAY JUST LET ME KNOW EITHER IMMA BE HURT BUT I WILL HOLD MY HEAD HIGH.....AND BE OK SOOO PLZZZ DONT DRAG ME ALONG