REFLECTIONS....

TODAY WAS A DAY WHERE I DID NOTHING...I ONLY CAME OUT MY ROOM TO GET FOOD....WHICH I ATE IN MY ROOM...I REALLY DID NOT SAY TO MUCH TO ANYONE BUT I SAT BACK AND I WAS JUST THINKIN ABOUT SHIT I HAVE DONE TO PPL AND SHIT PPL HAVE DONE TO ME AND THE WAY I ACT ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS.....LIKE THINGS IS CRAZI...THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD ARE EVEN WORSE....LIKE I HAVE THIS ATTITUDE THAT SUCKS TO WHERE I JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK... LIKE I GET UP AND DO WAT I WANT TO DO AND I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THE PEOPLE THAT I AHVE IN MY LIFE....I DONT MEAN TO BE THAT WAY BUT I HAVE THIS IDEA THAT I AM IN THIS WORLD ALONE AND THAT I HAVE TO JUST WORRY ABOUT ME....WELL RIGHT NOW I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME THAT IT IS HARD TO BREAK THAT ATTITUDE BUT I AM WORKING...BUT EVEN THAT I SPOKE WITH MY GODSON WHOM I LOVE SOO MUCH AND HE WAS LIKE MOM MOM WHEN U COMING TO SEE ME???? AND I SAT THERE AND I WAS LIKE SOON AND THEN HE RESPONDED WITH A OK WELL I MISS U....THAT TORE ME UP BECAUSE HE IS ONLY YOUNG BUT I WAS HIS EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME...I WAS THE ONE FEEDING HIM CLOTHING HIM BEING HIS EVERYTHING AND I JUST WALKED OUT OF HIS LIFE...BUT I AM ALWAYS QUICK TO FAULT SOMEONE WHO DOES THAT ME...I AM LIKE THAT WITH EVERYTHING..WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE GETTING UP ND CHANGIN SCENES I DO SOOO AND DO NOT THINK ABOUT WHAT I AM LEAVING BEHIND.....LIKE I DONT KNO I DO THAT ALOT.......SOOOO ANOTHER THING THAT I WAS THINKIN ABOUT WAS HOW MUCH FEELING I PUT INTO SHIT....I THINK SOO DEEP INTO THINGS AND I EXPECT SOO MUCH OUT OF PEOPLE....LIKE YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO SOMETHING I WOULD HOPE THAT YOU WOULD DO IT....ESPECIALLY IF YOU OFFER....THEN YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO KEEP YOUR WORD...I HATE HATE FOR SOMEONE TO GO BACK ON WAT THEY SAY BECAUSE I GUESS THIS IS MY FAULT BUT I HOLD YOU TO YOUR WORD...I DONT KNO I AM SITTING HERE JUST THINKING....I DONT WANT NO ONE TO SIT HERE AND TELL ME THEY GOING TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE IT IS A SET BACK....LIKE A PERSON SAYS THEY GONNA DO IT AND THEN THEY LET ME DOWN SOOOO WHEN SOMEONE GENUINE COMES I DONT WANT TO ACCEPT THEIR HELP BECAUSE I THINK THEY ARE JUST GOIN TO LET ME DOWN.....I DONT KNO


I JUST WANNA FINISH THIS IM OUTTTT....