I JUST WANNA SMILE

I FUCK UP EVERYTHING THAT I START....I AM LIKE A WASTE OF LIFE NOW....SHIT JUST DOESNT EVER EVER GO RIGHT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO ME...I HAD A REALLY GOOD PERSON IN MY LIFE BUT YET AGAIN I LET MY MOUTH FUCK SHIT UP....YEAH I TALK ABOUT HER ALL DAY...I WAS SOOO FUCKIN HAPPY THAT I FINALLY HAD SOMEONE IN MY LIFE THAT MADE ME SMILE THAT KEPT ME SMILING AND JUST MADE ME WANT TO BE CHARDAY...I COULDNT HELP THAT I WANTED TO BRAG ABOUT HER SOOO I WOULD....I DONT KNOW EVERY CONVERSATION THAT I HAD CONSIST OF ME TALKIN ABOUT HER WHETHER I WAS MAD OR NOT I TALKED ABOUT HER...AND I GUESS IF THAT WAS MY CRIME...THEN SOO BE IT.....BUT FOR HER TO JUST WALK AWAY BECAUSE I GET MAD IS JUST SOOO FUCKING CRAZY...LIKE I HUNG UP ON HER....I HANG UP ON EVERYONE WHEN THEY GET ON MY NERVES....AND I WAS HOLLERING AT HER AND I DIDNT WANT TO KEEP IT GOING...I MISSED HER I DIDNT TALK TO HER IN LIKE TWO DAYS...I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND AND NOW WE OVER...SHE SAID IF I EVER HANG UP ON HER NOT TO EVER CALL HER AGAIN...SHE SAYS THE WAY I LOVE HER SCARES HER...I EVE OFFERED TO ACT LIKE I DONT LOVE HER JUST SOOO SHE WOULDNT LEAVE ME....BUT NOPE THAT WASNT GOOD ENOUGH....SOOOO I MEAN I DONT WANT TO LOOSE HER....I DONT WANNA NOT BE ABLE TO CALL HER MINE.....I LOVE HER TO DEATH....BUT I DONT KNO I CAN NOT STOP CRYING RIGHT NOW.....LIKE I FEEL LIKE I JUST LOST MY BEST FRIEND.....UGHHHHH IDK...KERRA IF U READ THIS I AM SORRY...I LOVE U.....I TALK ABOUT U BECAUSE I LOVE U LIKE I DONT MEAN IT THE WAY THAT U TAKING IT....BUT I MEAN ITS COOL I LOVE U AND I AM SORRY THAT IT SCARES U...I LOVE U AND WHEN I REALIZED THAT I WANTED TO BE WITH U I COULDNT HELP THAT MY FEELINGS ARE SO STRONG...BUT I MEAN I LOVE U AND I HOPE THAT U CHANGE UR MIND