WHAT IS A FRIEND?

EVERYONE WANTS THEM AND EVERYONE THINKS THAT THEY HAVE THEM UNTIL YOU HIT A HARD SPOT. A HARD SPOT IN WHICH YOU NEED SOMEONE TO BE THERE EVERYDAY TO BE YOUR BACKBONE, TO GIVE YOU ADVICE, AND TO JUST LISTEN. AND THEY MAYBE THERE FOR ALL THAT. THEY GIVE YOU ADVICE WHEN YOU HAVIN RELATIONSHIP ISSUES BUT THEN WHEN YOU PHYSICALLY NEED THEM TO BE THERE THEY AINT. I MEAN IT IS COMPLETLY POINTLESS TO HAVE A HALF ASS FRIEND. OK SOOO I GUESS YOU ARE WONDERING WHAT A HALF ASS FRIEND IS..... A HALF ASS FRIEND IS A FRIEND THAT IS ONLY THERE WHEN THEY WANT TO BE THERE. THEY ONLY COME AROUND WHEN THEY GOT TIME. BUT IF YOU AND THEN ARE TOGETHER AND THEY FEEL AS THOUGH YOU MAY HAVE ###### UP THEY NIGHT THEY DISMISS YOU AND THINK NOTHING ABOUT IT. THEY THE TYPE OF PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD WHEN YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING THAT WASNT TO THEY LIKING....WELL THEY DONT MAKE YOU FEEL BAD THEY MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE ####. LIKE YOU ARE THE WORSE PERSON IN THE WORLD....BUT AS SOON AS THEY TURN AROUND AND DO SOMETHING TO YOU TO PROVE THAT THEY ARENT LOYAL THEY WANT YOU TO FORGET THE ISSUE AND ACT AS IF NOTHING HAPPEN..... THAT IS WHAT A HALF ASS FRIEND IS......BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO ESCAPE THE FACT THAT MOSRT PEOPLE WHOM YOU THINK ARE YOUR FRIENDS AINT YOUR FRIENDS UNTIL THEY NEED YOU....NOT WHEN YOU NEED THEM. THIS WAS A LESSON THAT I HAD TO LEARN. AND I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY.....LIFE ISNT...WELL YOUR LIFE ISNT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS IT IS ABOUT YOU. YOU CANT DEPEND OR RELY ON ANYONE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU BUT YOU....SOOOO I HAD TO LEARN TO STOP BEING IN THIS WORLD FOR OTHER PEOPLE BUT TO BE IN IT FOR ME....WELL I CANT SAY THAT I HAVE LEARNED IT ALL THE WAY YET BECAUSE I DONT....BUT I NEED TO STOP ALLOWIN PEOPLE TO INFLUENCE MY LIFE.....BUT SINCE THIS HAS TURNED INTO A A WHOLE BIG THING IMMA END THIS NOW BY SAYING THAT A FRIEND IS ......I MAY NEVER KNOW. THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE WHOM YOU MAY WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BUT IN THE END THEY DO NOT HAVE THE QUALIFICATIONS TO BE YOUR FRIEND...DONT JUST SETTLE FOR A HALF ASS FRIEND...YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO HAVE SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE WHO TREATS YOU AND CARES FOR YOU JUST AS MUCH AS YOU CARE FOR THEM.....

WHAT A PERSON

WOW I HAVENT BEEN ON HERE IN SOOOOO LONG.....LMAOOO LAST TIME I WROTE SOMETHIN I LOST TWO GOOD FRIENDS...I MEAN I HAD TO LET OUT WAT I HAD TO LET OUT BUT I GUESS MY APOLOGY WASNT GOOD ENOUGH TO THEM...SO THERE AINT TO MUCH I CAN DO NOW......BUT WAT IS THIS BLOG ABOUT TONIGHT....THS BLOG IS ABOUT ONE PERSON THAT I HAVENT SHOWED ANY LOVE TO IN A LONG TIME...THIS PERSON HAS BEEN HERE WAY BEFORE ANY FEMALE THAT I AHVE EVA WROTE ABOUT....THIS PERSON IS THE ONLY ONE WHO ALWAYS HAS MY BACK...EVEN WHEN I AM WRONG...WHICH BE MOST THE TIME BUT NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT...BUT ANYWAY I GUESS EVERYONE IS WONDERIN WHO THIS INFAMOUS PERSON IS.......(A DRUM ROLLL) AND THE AWARD FOR THE BEST PERSON IN MY LIFE GOES TO V AKA MY SIMBA...LMAOOOO U THOUGHT U WAS ABOUT TO SEE UR NAME DIDNT U???? UMMM NOPE....V U ARE MY BEST FRIEND...U HAVE PROVEN TO ME THAT I CAN COUNT ON U ALWAYS...REGARDLESS WATS GOING ON WIT ME AND YOU PERSONALLY U NEVA ALLOW IT TO MESS UP OUR FRIENDSHIP.... LIKE WE CAN BE ARGUIN EVERYDAY BUT AS SOON AS I CALL U WITH A PROBLEM U ALWAYS PUT ASIDE OUR DIFFERENCES AND U HELP ME WITH MY ISSUE...YOUR THE FIRST PERSON I CALL WHENEVA I AM HAPPY SAD OR ANGRY...BASICALLY ANY OTHER FEELING THEN NORMAL YOUR THE FIRST PERSON I CALL. I STRIVE TO MAKE YOU PROUD OF ME AND WHEN I KNOW THAT I DIDNT GET YOUR APPROVAL IN THE SITUATION I FEEL LIKE I HAVE COMPLETLY FAILED.....V YOU DONT REALIZE HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME (NOT ON NO SEXUAL SHIT NEITHER), WHEN I LIED TO YOU I DID IT NOT KNOWIN IT WOULD HAVE SUCH A BIG AFFECT N OUR RELATIONSHIP...BUT THE THING IS YOUR STILL HERE. YOU HAVE GIVEN ME SOMETHING THAT NO ONE IN MY LIFE HAS EVER GIVEN ME AND THATS A STABILE RELATIONSHIP....WHENEVER A PERSON LEAVES YOUR ALWAYS THERETO PICK UP WHERE I FEEL EMPTY...WHEN A GIRL BREAKS MY HEART YOU HAVE BEEN THERE TO PUT THE PEICES BACK TOGETHER.....YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I CAN HONESTLY SAY I NEED IN MY LIFE...AND IF YOU AINT IN MY LIFE THEN LIFE AINT RIGHT...LMAOOOO YOUR ONE IN A MILLION...YOUR PERSONALITY BANGIN....YOU HAVE NEVER TURNED YOUR BACK ON ME...AND YOU NEVA SUGAR COAT A THING. YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO TELL ME THE TRUTH...REGARDLESS IF YOU KNOW THAT MY FEELINGS MIGHT BE HURT YOU STILL TELL ME BECAUSE U HAVE NEVER TOLD ME ANYTHING WRONG......VENITA I WANNA BE UR EVERYTHING...I HOPE THAT I HAVE AT LEAST BEEN HALF OF THE FRIEND THAT YOU HAVE BEEN...WHEN I BE KICKIN MY SMOOTH LINES TO YOU THEY DONT BE JUST SMOOTH LINES FOR THE BOOK THEY BE HOW I BE REALLY FEELING...V I WISH I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND WE COULD BE A COUPLE..LMAOOO EVEN THOUGH I WOULD NEVER WANT TO RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP I JUST LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH...LIEK I CAN SAY NOW THAT ALL THE THINGS I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO START WITH OTHER PEOPLE THEY NEVER WORK BECAUSE I CANT GET YOU OUT MY MIND.....I CAN NEVA GIVE A PERSON 100% BECAUSE I WANT YOU....SIMBA YOU JUST DONT KNOW...I HOPE THAT YOU COULD ONE DAY FORGIVE ME FOR THE LIES AND GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE....I KNOW THAT I CAN DO RIGHT BY YOU AND I KNOW THAT WE WOULD MAKE A GOOD TEAM.... BUT TRUST AINT NO RUSH... I AM ALWAYS GOING TO BE HERE....SO WE HAVE TIME....WE GOT 2 KIDS TOGETHER...LMAOOOO AND SINCE WE GOT THEM WE GOTTA TALK...LMAOOO BUT LIKE I SAID YOUR ARE THE BEST PERSON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS....I LOVE YOU TO DEATH BABI...YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME....AND JUST KNOW WE WORKING ON YOUR TIME...WHENEVA YOUR READI FOR ME TO HAVE THAT SPOT IN YOUR HEART I WILL BE HERE READY AND WILLIN....V I LOVE YOU.....NALA+SIMBA=MY PRIDE LAND

GOIN TO SLEEP TO DREAM

BABI I AM ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP TO DREAM OF YOU...DREAM ABOUT THE BLESSING THAT I NOW HAVE IN MY LIFE...YOU ARE TRULY A BLESSING. LIKE YOU BEEN IN MY LIFE BEFORE YOU WAS ACTUALLY IN MY LIFE AND LIKE THAT MAKES ME LOVE YOU MORE....YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO BE ON MY SIDE EVEN WHEN YOUR MAD....YOU ALWAYS GOT MY BACK....EVEN IF YOU DONT KNOW WHATS ACTUALLY GOING ON I KNOW THAT I CAN COUNT ON YOU....YOU SAID TO ME THE OTHER NIGHT BABY I AM PROUD OF YOU.....THAT MEANT SOOOO MUCH TO ME...NO ONE EVER LETS ME KNOW THAT THEY AE PROUD OF ME BUT THEY ARE QUICK TO DOG ME OUT WHEN I DISGRACE THEM.....SOOO THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW THAT I AM DOING SOMETHING RIGHT BECAUSE I AT LEAST GOT ONE PERSON TO BE PROUD OF ME.....UM AGAIN I AM SOOO SORRY ABOUT YOUR VISIT I WISH IT WAS BETTER....I HOPE YOU HAD FUN WHEN AT LEAST SPENDING TIME WITH ME.....IF YOU NEVER WANT TO COME BACK IT IS COOL I DO UNDERSTAND BUT JUST KNOW I ONLY WANTED YOU TO HAVE FUN....BUT I AM STILL GLAD YOU CAME...IT WAS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD WAKING UP NEXT TO YOU....HAVING YOU RAG ON HOW BAD MY HAIR LOOKS IN THE MORNING MADE ME LAUGH SOO MUCH INSIDE....EVEN THOUGH YOU NOT A GOOD SPADES PLAYER YOU STILL WAS ALWAYS BE MY PARTNER IN CRIME.....LOL....BUT BABY I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH AND KNOW THAT I TAKE NO ONE WORD OVER YOURS...I HOPE YOU HAVE SEEN THAT OVER THE LAST 2 WEEKS.....OH AND KNOW EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE WANTS TO TELL YOU THAT YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT I DONT THINK THAT. YOU TREAT ME HOW A GRIL IS SUPPOSE TO TREAT HER GIRLFRIEND SOOO EVEN IF EVERYONE IS AGAINST US WE GOTTA BE STRONG WITHIN OUR OWN...AS LONG AS YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE MEHAPPY THEN WE WILL BE COOL ON MY END...I HOPE THAT I AM MAKING YOU JUST AS HAPPY THOUGH....UMMM I ONLY WANT THE BEST FOR YOU...SOO IF I AM NOT THE BEST YOU CN LET ME KNO...LOL BUT ANYWAY I LOVE UUUUUUU TO DEATH....GET AT ME BABI.....MODEL

MINDING YOUR OWN FUCKKIN BUSINESS

MY QUESTION TO THE WORLD IS WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS...LIKE THEY BE SO WORRIED ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE SHIT THAT THEY CAN'T EVEN PAY THEY FUCKING BILLS ON TIME I MEAN BE FUCKING FOR REAL...STAY OUTTA MINE AND WORRY ABOUT YOURS.....LIKE IF I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP AND I DONT FEEL LIKE I AM GETTING TREATED LIKE SHIT THEN STOP TRYING TO PLANT THAT SHIT IN MY MOTHER FUCKING HEAD BECAUSE IT IS NOT FUCKING WORKING....I HAVE TO FIND OUT SHIT ON MY OWN BEFORE I CAN TRULY UNDERSTAND...AND IF WHAT YOU ARE SAYIN IS TRUE IN THE LONG RUN YOU CAN GLADLY SAY I TOLD YOU SOOO BUT YOU TELLING ME WAT I SHOULD AND SHOULDNT DO IS ONLY MAKING ME DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME TO DO....YOU TALKING ABOUT MY GIRL TREAT ME LIKE SHIT MANNN YOUR FUCKING GIRL IS MEETING PEOPLE OFF THE INTERNET AND GIVING THEM HER PHONE NUMBER WHILE YOU OUT THERE BUSTING YOUR ASS TRYING TO MAKE A GOOD LIFE FOR HER......STUPID ASS NIGGAS...LIKE BE FOR REAL....I KNOW TO MUCH SHIT ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT KEEP TALKING SHIT...PLEASE BELIEVE......SOMEONE MOM CANT AND STILL CANT PAY FOR HER SCHOOLING SOO SHE CHANGING SCHOOLS BECAUSE SHE BROKE....HER MOM CANT TAKE CARE OF HER.....UMMMM THE OTHER ONE YOUR ON WELFARE...YOU MAKE 5.15 AND HOUR...YOU PAY NO FUCKIN BILLS AT ALL SOOO JUST SOO YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT A GROWN ASS WOMAN....YOU STILLA FUCKING BABY BECAUSE YOU GOT SOMEONE PAYING FOR ALL YOUR SHIT......LIKE BE FORREAL...THE TWO MAIN HATERS LMAOOOO YOUR RENT WAS DUE...PLEASE PAY IT THANK YOU.....YOUR HOUSE AINT GOT SHIT IN IT....YOU DONT GOT SHIT BUT A BOX OF BLACKS AND A BEER.....WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE....BOTH OF YALL UGLY WALKIN AROUND THINKIN THEY CUTE...SRRY ARMY FATIGUE WAS PLAYED OUT HOW MANY YEARS AGO...AND THE OTHER YOU GET YOUR FUCKIN KIDS BACK BEFORE YOU EVEN ATTEMPT TO COME AT ME LIKE A MOTHER....LMAOOOOO WHAT DA HELL...YALL ALL WORRIED ABOUT WHATS GOING ON IN MY LIFE WHEN YALL AINT GOT SHIT YALL SELVES....EVERYONE HAS THEY ISSUES NO ONE IS PERFECT...AND AS YOU CAN SEE I MENTIONED NO NAMES BECAUSE I AINT STOOPING THAT LOW BUT CERTAIN PEOPLE KNOW WHO I AM TALKING ABOUT....PLEASE STAY THE FUCK OUTTA MY BUSINESS...I DONT BE IN YOURS...I DONT CARE ABOUT YOURS....I AM A GROWN ASS WOMAN...I BASICALLY DO AS I PLEASE WHEN I PLEASE...SOOO IF I WANT TO STAY IN MY RELATIONSHIP THEN I WILL...IF I WANNA BE LAZY THEN I WILL....BUT ON THE REAL YALL BITCHES LOOKING REAL FUCKING STUPID BECAUSE EVERYDAY THAT YALL ATTEMPT TO BREAK ME.... YOU MAY THINK YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED BECAUSE I GO TO SLEEP LOOKIN SAD BUT TRUST EVERDAY I WAKE UP WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE.....EVERYDAY I WALK AROUND HAPPY...YOU WILL NEVER EVER BREAK ME...SO STOP TRYING.....ITS ME AGAINST THE WORLD...I CAME IN THIS BITCH ALONE AND IM GOING OUT ALONE...IF YOU AINT DOWN TRYIN TO HELP ME BETTER MYSELF...AND TRULY HELP ME BETTER MYSELF THEN U GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY LIFE NOW....AND THAT TRULLY MEAN EVERYONE I DONT CARE WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE....I AM SOOO SERIOUS BECAUSE THE MORE PEOPLE I ALLOW IN MY LIFE THE MORE FUCKED UP IT GETS SOOO PLEASE ELIMINATE YOURSELF NOW BECAUSE IF I GETT TO CUTTING NIGGAZ OUT A OUT PEOPLE GONNA HATE ME....BUT THEN AGAIN I DONT CARE....SOOOO PLEASE IMMA SAY THIS ONE MORE TIME...I AM HAPPY WHERE MY LIFE IS I AM HAPPY IN THE RELATIONSHIP I AM IN BASICALLY I AM JUST A HAPPY MUTHA FUKER.....SO PLEASE MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS PLAYE OUT.....MODEL MANNNN NOT MODEL FUCKING THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUCEMENT HAS COME FROM CHARDAY....GET Y LIVES TOGETHER PEOPLE.

UPDATE ON LIFE

OK SO I HAVENT REALLY POSTED ANYTHING NEW LATELY ABOUT WATS GOING ON WITH ME....WELL A LOT OF SHIT HAS BEEN HAPPEN...WHAT WOULD MY LIFE BE WITHOUT DRAMA....LMAOOO I TRY TO RUN FROM IT BUT IT ALWAYS SEEM TO FIND ME AND KNOCK ON MY DOOR....OK SOOOO LEMME START BY SAYING HEYYYYY TO EVERYONE AND MS. ZOE STRAUSS I HAVE BEEN CALLING YOUR ASS ALL WEEK...AND HAVE YOU ANSWERED NO...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON...SOOOO SINCE YOUR NOT ANSWERING IMMA LET YOU KNO.....WELLL FIRST ME AND MY BOO ARE STILL GOING STRONG...YES I KNOW YOU DONT KNOW WHO I AM TALKKIN ABOUT...WELL YOU SHOULD IF YOU READ MY BLOG RIGHT...BUT ANYWAY THE ONE I AM TALKIN ABOUT IN THE WE GOTTA MAKE IT WORK BLOG.....OMG ZOE SHE IS AMAZING...YES SHE PISSES ME OFF HELLA CRAZY AT TIMES BUT YOOOO SHE JUST HAD ME ON THE PHONE DYING...SHE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART...WELLL ANYWHO SHE CAME OUT TO VISIT ME LAST WEEK...NEW YORK TO COLLEGE PARK SHE CAME....I WAS SOO HAPPY THAT SHE DID COME I MEAN WE HAD BEEN HAVING OUR ISSUES BUT LIKE I WAS SOOO HAPPY TO FINALLY KNOW THAT SHE WAS HERE....WELL SHE CAME COMPLETE DISASTER...LIKE I FEEL SOO BAD BECAUSE SHE DIDNT TELL ME UNTIL SHE LEFT THAT MY ROOMATES TREATED HER LIKE SHIT....THEY DONT READ THIS BUT IF THEY DID OH WELL...THEY TREATED HER LIKE SHIT AND MADE HER FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE....LIKE SHE TOLD ME THAT I FELT SOO BAD...LIKE THEY WAS ALWAYS TELLING HER SHE TREAT ME LIKE SHIT....LISTEN EVERY RELATIONSHIP HAS THERE ISSUES BUT I AM VERY HAPPY...AND TRUST A BLOG IS COMING ABOUT PEOPLE MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS.....BUT ANYWHO THEY WAS SOO MEAN TO HER...SO I AM VERY PISSED BECAUSE THAT IS MY BABY....AND I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TREAT HER LIKE SHIT.......BUT THATS MY BOO BABI AND I LOVE HER....KATA I KNOW YOU GONNA READ THIS BABI I LOVE U AND I AM SORRY.....BUT ANYWHOOOOO BACK TO WHATS BEEN GOIN ON WIT ME.....UMMM I GOT TWO JOB INTERVIEWS ONE TOMORROW AND ONE NEXT WEEK...I CANT WAIT SOOO PLEASE PRAY FOR ME SOOO THAT HOPEFULLY I GET ONE OR MAYBE EVEN BOTH.....UMMMM WHAT ELSE I HAVE BEEN CHILLING.....LIKE I THINK MY HEALTH IS REGRESSIN A LIL BUT OH WELL I WILL GO TO THE DOCTOR.....BUT UMMMM I HAD A BLAST FROM THE PAST TODAY....REMEMBER THE GIRL WHO PICTURE I SHOWED YOU WHEN WE WAS GETTING READY FOR 1-95....THE SCARY ONE...WELL SHE AND I TALKED TODAY....SCARY YET FUNNY...WE GOT CLOSURE TO OUR SHIT AND WE JUST CHIT CHATTED.....BUT IT WAS AWKWARD BECAUSE I WANTED TO KEEP CALLIN HER A DIFFERENT NAME I HAD TO KEEP CATCHING MYSELF...BUT SHE GOIN TO BE IN ATLANTA IN TWO WEEKS.....(KATA I KNOW DO IT AND I DIE LMAOOOO) BUT I DONT THINK WE GONNA BE HANGIN OUT BECAUSE SHE HURT MY FEELINGS.....BUT ANYWHOOO THINGS HAVENT BEEN GOING TO GOOD IN MY HOUSE.....BUT YOU KNOW ME I PUT UP WITH ANYTHING.....BEST FRIEND IS GREAT....IM SUPPOSE TO BE COMING UP THERE TO HELP HER MOM HANDLE SOME FOSTER CARE THINGS THIS MONTH SOMETIME.....UMMM ADOPTED MOM AND ME ARE REALLI COOL RIGHT NOW....SHE TOLD ME I CAN MOVE HOME....HEHEHEHE. BIO MOM ACTUALLY SENT ME MONEY.....BUT THEN THRU IT IN MY FACE SOOO WE NOT REALLY SPEAKIN...LIKE WE IS BUT WE NOT BUT WE IS...YOU KNOW HOW SHE DOES....LMAOOOOO BUT OTHER THAN THAT IM JUST CHARDAY..BEING ME BEING A CLOWN...I KINDA WANNA MOVE BACK UP NORTH....BUT I KNOW IMMA HEAR A SPEECH SOOOO IF I DONT GET A JOB BEFORE MY BEST FRIEND BUYS MY TICKET TO PHILADELPHIA IM COMING HOME FOR GOOD...BUT IF I GET ONE AND I AM PRAYING TO GOD I DO IMMA STAY OUT HERE...BUT I THINK THATS IT.....MS. STRAUSS I LOVE U AND I AM STILL WAITIN FOR A COPY OF MY GOD DAMN MOVIE...HOWS THE BOOK? HOW LYNN BLOOM?MOM? SAVANNAH?CHRISTINE?LAURA (FROM THE SIXERS)? I THINK THATSIT IF I FORGOT ANY1...OH WAIT HOW IS ALL INTERNS? BUT UMMM I AM GOOD GET AT ME.....OH I CHANGED YAHOO.....LETUSBE063008@YAHOO.COM.BYE LOVE U......

JUST THROW ME IN THE TRASH...DON'T MISS...JUST BALL ME UP....YOU HAVE USED ME TILL THERE WAS NO LONGER AND SPACE LEFT.

WOW!!!!!!! HOW DID YOU MISS THE CAN????? YOU REALLY SUCK.....HAVEN'T YOU USED ME ENOUGH? YOU KNOW HAVE LEFT ME OPEN TO WAY MORE PAIN....PEOPLE CAN JUST STEP ALL OVER ME.

OUCHHHHH OUCHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! STOP STEPPING ON ME....YOU ARE HURTING ME.

PLEASE TELL THESE PEOPLE TO STOP...WHY COULDNT YOU JUST MAKE IT IN THE CAN....BUT NOW EVERYONE IS JUST STEPPING ON ME....THE BAD PART IS THAT THEY ARE NOT EVEN NOTICING.....AM I INVISIBLE???

WHY ME?? I WAS THERE TILL THE END....ANYTIME YOU NEEDED ME....PLEASE TELL THEM TO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

IT'S KIND OF FUCKED UP WHEN LIFE MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE AN OLD USED PEICE OF PAPER.

SO QUICK TO WALK AWAY

I MUST HAVE FUCK MY FEELINGS WRITTEN ON MY FACE....EVERYTIME MY LIFE SEEMS TO BE GOING GOOD I GET FUCKED UP..AND IN MY LAST BLOG I TOOK FULL RESPONSIBLITIY ...I ALWAYS SEEM TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR SHIT WHEN I AM IN THE RELATIONSHIP....JUST BECAUSE I HATE HOSTILITY BUT NOW I AM SOOO DONE WITH IT......LIKE I AM NOT WRONG FOR LOVING YOU....AND YES I LOVE HARD HOW ELSE ARE U SUPPOSE TO LOVE? HALF WAY? A FOURTH OF THE WAY? UHHHH NO WHEN YOU TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM YOUR ARE SUPPOSE TO REALLY LOVE THEM...DO ANYTHING JUST TO SEE THEM SMILE..BE THE ONE WHO WANTS TO MAKE THEIR WORLD BETTER...BUT I GUESS MY DEFINITION OF LOVE IS WRONG...WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME THEY LOVE THEY HURT ME...THEY MAKE ME CRY....THEY LEAVE ME....THEY JUST BASICALLY SEEM NOT TO GIVE TWO FUCKS ABOUT MY FEELINGS.....SOOOO MAYBE IT IS LIKE OPPOSITE DAY BUT THE DAY JUST SEEMS TO LAST FOR A LIFETIME WITH ME...THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME WHETHER IT WAS WITH A RELATIONSHIP OR A FOSTER HOME OR WITH A BIOLOGICAL FAMILY THEY NEVA REALLY LOVE ME...THEY TELL ME THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD I GUESS.....BUT I AM SOOO TIRED....LIKE I KNOW I HAVE ISSUES EVERYONE DOES....MY ATTITUDE SUCKS IT DOES MAYBE IF PEOPLE WOULD JUST TREAT ME AS IF I AM A PERSON AND NOT AN OBJECT WE WOULD BE COOL...OR MAYBE IF PEOPLE WOULD JUST KEEP IT REAL WITH ME I WOULD BE NICE.....I KNO I HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES TO WHERE I CATCH FELINGS FAST...TRY BEING RIPPED AWAY FROM YOUR FAMILY, AND THEN BEING RIPPED AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO U THINK ARE YOUR FAMILY OR HOW ABOUT KNOWING THAT EVERY PERSON THAT ENTERS IS GONNA LEAVE AND U JUST WANNA BE LOVED.....LIKE I HAVE NEVER HAD A STABLE HOME NEVER OR HAD JUST ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE WHO WANTS TO BE THERE ALWAYS THRU WATEVA......BUT LIKE I AM NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND BE SAD AND COMPLAIN OR SAY ANYTHING ELSE BUT I AM A GOOD WOMAN....I AM A GOOD PERSON....AND I AM A GOOD FRIEND...I ONLY ASK THAT FROM EVERYONE TO TREAT ME THE SAME AS I TREAT YOU.....THATS ALL I WANT OUT OF ANY RELATIONSHIP....I JUST WANNA SMILE....I CANT THOUGH BECAUSE PEOPLE DONT REALIZE THAT JUST AS SCARED AS YOU ARE I AM TOO....JUST AS BAD AS YOU HAVE INNER PERSONAL ISSUES I HAVE THEM TOO...AND THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO IS WORK TOGETHER OR SAY FUCK IT BUT IF YOU ONLY GONNA GIVE UP THEN WHY COME IN....BUT I WILL SAY THIS BEFORE I END THIS....I AM NOT A FUCKING TOY....AND MY FEELINGS ARENT EITHER....SOOOO PLEASE WHEN ENTERING MY LIFE KNOW THAT AND PLEASE TREAT ME AS IF I AM HUMAN...I DO MAKE MISTAKES AND I WILL DO THINGS THAT ARE NOT TO YOUR LIKIN BUT THAT IS WAT MAKES ME ME AND YOU YOU.....YOU DONT HAVE TO RUN FROM ME OR BE SCARED.....I WOULD NEVER WANT ANYONE TO FEEL THE WAY I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW...THIS FEELING OF STRAIGHT UGHHH IS OVER ME AND I KNOW THAT.....THIS IS CRAZI....SOOO PLEASE CUT THE ROPE IF YOU AINT GONNA BE HANGING OUT THERE NEXT ME......MODEL

BUT TOOO THAT ONE PERSON....I STILL LOVE YOU....AND I WILL LOVE YOU...I SIT HERE AND I CRY BECAUSE I DO LOVE YOU AND NOT BECAUSE I AM UPSET THAT WE ARENT TOGETHER (WELL I AM) BUT BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND AS A FRIEND (NOT YA GIRL) I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY SOO IF THAT MEANS NO MORE US THEN SOO BE IT.....BUT JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU....JUST KNOW THAT I AM STILL HERE AND I STILL WANT TO MAKE THIS WORK AND I WILL DO WHATEVER I CAN DO TO MAKE THIS WORK BUT IF YOU DO NOT FEEL THAT WAY JUST LET ME KNOW EITHER IMMA BE HURT BUT I WILL HOLD MY HEAD HIGH.....AND BE OK SOOO PLZZZ DONT DRAG ME ALONG